Survival Tips

My attitude is getting better, but it probably helps that we are getting closer to May. I promised Gus a while ago that I wouldn't complain about any of the shots, procedures, or about being pregnant if we are lucky enough to get there. These are all things I have chosen to go through, so I promised not to whine. Everything up until now I never asked for, so I figured I could complain a little. :)

Since we only have 4 attempts to get this right (that is all the insurance company is willing to pay for in my lifetime, which I'm told is really good compared to most insurance plans), I've been reviewing tips from the clinic and other resources I found. Most of them are on how to tolerate the treatments and procedures, but some could actually help us get a good outcome. Reviewing them has helped me get my mind back on track and helped me not to think so negatively. Here are a few that I found important enough to reiterate to myself or just found interesting or are things I just never thought of.

• Rest is very important, even before transfer. All those developing eggs are taking up a lot of space and energy.
• Make sure they do a mock transfer prior to the actual embryo transfer. This is not fun, but it is necessary that they know the depth of your uterus so they know where to put the embryos. (I had this done between the 1st and 2nd surgery, but I need to remember to ask if the 2nd surgery would have changed anything and if it needs to be done again.)
• Caffeine has been shown to affect fertility, even in small amounts, so try to avoid it. (I've been able to cut caffeinated beverages out so far.)
• Try to keep a very flexible schedule the week before the pregnancy test. Some people start their periods early and are stuck somewhere where they cannot just be alone and grieve.
• Remember that some people get very uncomfortable and even have a lot of pain as the ovaries are stimulated. This may get worse as the follicles ripen. Loose clothing may help.
• If this is your first IVF, be conservative about the number of embryos you transfer, especially if they are of very good quality. You may find that fertilization was your big hurdle and now that it is complete you are on your way! (Let's hope that is the case.)
• Sometimes the brand or type of needle may affect how much the shot hurts. They many be the same gauge but have different tips. If you are having a lot of pain with a shot and are using a small enough gauge needle, try seeing if a different brand will help. (I have found this to be very true, I've used three different brands of needles so far and there is one brand that is much more painful than the other two.)
• You will probably need at least the day after your retrieval off of work. You may be in pain or you may just be tired and need the rest. Levels of pain post-retrieval vary from person to person. Some people may have little or no pain and other may have a lot of pain. Be prepared for both extremes.
• A heating pad on your belly may help with pain after egg retrieval.
• If you are concerned about nausea during the retrieval, ask for something to stem nausea. A drug called Phenergan is a mild sedative and also will help keep you from vomiting or having nausea from other medications. (I ALWAYS wake up with nausea after sedation.)
• Remember that not every follicle contains an egg, so don't be surprised if the number of eggs harvested is less or more than the number of follicles you've been watching develop.
• Many clinics aren't requiring any post-transfer rest, as recent studies indicate it has no impact in success rate. If it helps you feel like you are doing everything you can, rest as much as you feel necessary.
• Most clinics recommend you avoid the following after transfer: swimming, saunas, baths, intercourse, lifting over 10 pounds, exercise that breaks out into a sweat. So look forward to taking it easy!
• Some clinics suggest you avoid soaps, shampoos, and perfume on retrieval and transfer day as embryos can react poorly to odors.
• The grief reaction is inevitable and expected if pregnancy does not occur.
• Joy and fear - Excitement of knowing that a pregnancy has occured while at the same time fear of miscarriage exists, be prepared for both.
• Keep life simple.
• Try to relax and think positive.
• Try to relax and think positive.
• Try to relax and think positive. (Yes, I meant to list that several times.)

Our clinic also gave us a handout on ways to reduce stress during infertility treatment. It's good to know that they aren't ignoring the marriages that walk through their doors. It follows:

1. Give yourself and your spouse permission to have and express negative feelings. This includes feelings such as anger, sadness, envy and guilt. These are often not easy to tolerate in others or ourselves but are real and important feelings. Crying is part of expression.
2. Communicate feelings to each other. This means talking about fears, angers, and insecurities about yourself and your partner. Because it is difficult and risky to do, it is tempting to avoid this, but avoidance tends to create hurt and misunderstanding, which can be more painful than facing difficult feelings.
3. Respect each other's differences. Every person's coping style is different. Do not judge yourself by your partner, because you are not the same.
4. Recognize that you may get or give less because you are both stressed at the same time. Try to find other sources for getting needs met so as to increase your chances of getting what you need. This will help lessen guilt and anger when you cannot get or give what is needed to each other.
5. Remember that you are partners who share the same problem. It is easy to focus anger on each other when no other target seems handy. At those times, it is important to try to remember that you are on the same side.
6. Ask for what you want and need from each other. Many people worry about burdening their spouses, which limits what they get, and overlooks the possibility that their spouse could say "no" if necessary. The chances of getting what you want or need are greater when you ask, especially since no one can read minds.
7. Do not get polarized by extreme positions. People often have mixed feelings about things. If one spouse takes one position, it is easy for the other spouse to take the other position and never find middle.
8. Try not to protect each other. This often backfires in unexpected ways and can create more misunderstanding than it does good.
9. Try to talk about and understand the stress on the sexual relationship. There is a way to fight back against the effects infertility has on sexual aspects of a relationship, and it is important to try to remember that they are of a temporary nature.
10. Do not lose each other in the process of infertility. Remember that you and your spouse are a family. You chose each other to love and to share your life with for reasons beyond having children. Infertility is enough of a loss without losing each other.

Injection tally is now at 35! I noticed my first bruise last night. Unfortunately, it is on the side of my stomach I like to use most often as that side seems to be less painful, which is probably why it is the side to bruise.