Aye carumba!

Yesterday was one of those days where all I wanted to do was sit down and have a good cry. The only problem was, 1) I didn't have time to sit down and cry and 2) I know it wouldn't have helped the situation at all. Gus had taken some time off of work yesterday to work at the house and was only greeted by yet another issue. With no air movement at the house at all, and no one in the house to check consistently, we apparently had gotten some water in the basement with one of the last couple of rains. And now we have mold in the basement. We have contacted the insurance company, but they are taking their sweet time getting back to us. So poor Gus had to take another day off of work to bleach and clean. He also bought a dehumidifier and some fans to leave down there. I feel bad for him, not exactly the way you want to spend your time off and it's not like he wasn't stressed out enough.

And then my engagement ring broke! The band split at the bottom and can be easily fixed, but just something else to deflate my balloon. I have no idea how it happened either. I must have grabbed something wrong at work last night or something, but I feel naked without it.

So, is it time for a good dose of perspective? I was driving to work this morning and heard the song I'm going to dance with my son to at his wedding. (Yes, I know how pathetic it sounds to have a song picked out already when 1) I don't have a child yet and 2) I know that said child could be a girl just as easily as a boy, but please just humor me.) The song is My Wish by Rascal Flatts and portrays your hopes and dreams for another's life. I know this isn't how life works, but if we are going through trial after trial so that our child's life could go "as planned" then I'm willing to take that burden. But I know there will come a day when our child will be up against their own battle and I won't be able to make it any easier for them. I will have to sit back, pray, and let them cry on my shoulder. Why is it that whenever you hear about someone's pain, you would do anything to take that pain away and live through it yourself, whether it is a family member or a good friend. But when you are going through the trial yourself, you feel so crushed and defeated and so alone no matter who has already jumped in to help, like you carry the weight of the world on your own two little shoulders? You would think by now that we would know we aren't alone, right? How many people have prayed for us and encouraged us through the past 5 years of infertility? How many people dropped everything at a moments notice to show up at our house and be with us as we waited outside for the fire trucks to leave? How many people have made sacrifices of time and resources to help us with some sort of project at the house? Or taken us in for a meal? Or taken our cat in for the past 7 months? We are not shouldering this alone and we feel it. Even if it is just venting and complaining in a blog and knowing that someone is "listening."

We aren't in this adoption journey alone either. We know that we cannot afford this on our own. And just by merely stating that fact, we are close to 10% funded! And we haven't even really started the big fundraising push! We have had some more very generous donations this past week. I feel like the Grinch who stole Christmas, with my heart getting bigger and bigger with each one. We are loved and we are not alone! Thank you for listening, praying, donating and giving your time and resources. It may not have seemed like a lot to you, but it meant the world to us.